The flight home was uneventful in a good way.  We arrived back to Milton totally exhausted and missing the kids.  Luckily, my parents offered to drive the kids to meet us and after lunch we had a family nap.

We returned home to discover three unexpected things:

1. The yard was an overgrown swamp.  Apparently it has been raining here for two weeks straight, and our spring thaw pond has returned.  The vegetable garden has been overtaken by a pumpkin vine with a 25-foot wingspan.  The interlocking brick is an explosion of weeds.
2. The pool was also somewhat of a swamp.  It was overflowing with water, and a nice kool-aid green.  Reparations already under way.
3. My fish tank was a cesspool.  Somehow all of my cichlids, some of them seven years old, were not only dead but decomposing.  The plecos were still alive, but I don’t know how.  We cracked some windows for the smell and I went to town changing water, scrubbing ornaments, and de-clogging fish bits from the filter.

Luckily, Katlyn’s fish were fine.  Those were actually the ones I was worried about, they’ve never been alone for an extended period before.  The two-week block worked well in the 6-gallon.

As planned, we spent the last couple days relaxing in Waikiki.  The hotel offered us some minor annoyances, uncharacteristically ignoring my Hilton Honors profile of “King, High Floor, Away from elevator”.  Most Hilton properties follow it to the letter, I assume rooms are assigned by computer.  However this one first attempted to give us a queen bed, which caused an argument with management until “we’re completely full” turned into “oh, look I just found a king bed for you”.  The new room was right beside the elevator, but it didn’t seem too loud and I figured I had used up my quota of complaints for the day.  The next day however, after not sleeping well, I did request and receive a new room away from the elevator.

Other than the room shuffling, the hotel was a great place to hang out for the last few days.  The pool on the fourth floor was great for hanging around and reading a book, and the free drinks in the afternoon certainly helped.

We did some souvenir shopping, went out for a nice dinner, and that pretty much sums up the last two days before jumping on the airplane and heading home.  Overall, it was a great vacation and I’d do Hawaii again for sure!

Today was pack-up day from the vacation rental and time to move back in to Waikiki for the remainder of the trip.  We bid farewell to Tish the owner and headed into town with a full vehicle.  Once again we ate at Zippy’s Diner prior to scuba and once again we had the same waitress.  She noted that Jodie was looking a bit more perky this time around.

At the boat launch, we met with our scuba class and found bags of gear with our names on them.  I was named “Jodie 2″.  After a short on-land lesson we piled onto the boat and headed out into the ocean.  Given the prep we went through, it was clear that this was going to be a bit more serious than what I had thought would be a shallow “better than snorkeling” adventure.  No, they were going over some very real life-threatening scenarios, how to communicate, and how to not get dead.

When we arrived at the first dive site, they tied the boat to a dive line that was anchored at the bottom.  We went in one by one, and the non-certified divers (including us) each had to demonstrate their skills about five feet down.  How to clear your mask, how to clear water from the regulator, how to find your regulator when it falls out, how to take someone else’s emergency backup, etc.  My mask was a bit leaky (I think my face is a bit abnormal) so I spent a good chunk of the first dive clearing water from my eyes.  Jodie had a minor freak-out during the skill training, but the instructor brought her up to the surface and talked her down.  She was fine after that.  We then followed the dive line down to the bottom of the ocean, which was about forty feet deep.  The instructor gave us a thirty-minute tour of the reef in that area, and we saw just a ton of fish.  The water was saturated with these tiny little sea slugs, they were literally everywhere in the water.  The dive instructors weren’t sure what they were, but they see them about once a year.  If you pop one (either by flicking it or by random chance) they explode into a small cloud of purple dye.  At the end of our first dive, one of the other people who was actually getting tested for his certification ran out of air.  He completely freaked out (as would I) and the instructor had to try to calm him down at forty feet below, while getting him to take a hit off of his air tank.  That ended our first dive a bit early.

The second dive went more smoothly.  We knew more what we were doing, and they got me another mask that fit better.  This dive site was near some underground craters, and there were several sea turtles who called this home.  I got lots of pictures on this dive, but it was with an old-timey disposable 35mm camera so we’ll have to wait to see if they turned out or not.  We saw a few turtles of different sizes, including one turtle who was sleeping in a crevice.  Again, lots of interesting fish of different shapes and colours.  After about thirty minutes on the bottom, we came back up to the boat.  I wished that we could stay out longer, but alas we had no more air.

After diving, we met with the wedding group again for one last dinner together and said our goodbyes.  The majority were flying back on Saturday night, and we would be staying for another couple of days until Monday afternoon.

After dinner, we went for a walk in Waikiki.  At the international market, I mentioned to Jodie that I’d like to go back to the hotel to use the washroom but she convinced me to use the public toilet there in the market.  Fair enough, so I went down a hallway to a small bathroom.  Inside I could see three large scary-looking guys who gave me a bit of a glare.  It was a tiny bathroom, with one sink, one urinal, and a toilet stall.  At this point it was too late to turn back, so I mustered up my confidence and said “umm, I just need to go to the bathroom”, and they moved aside to let me in.  The room was full of smoke, and in the stall behind me was the following dialog, “It’s good stuff, taste it.  Yeah, I got two more grams.  Now if you like it, you’re going to buy it right?  Yeah…”.  Fairly nervous about the situation at this point, I forced myself to use the urinal mostly for show.  I washed my hands and got out of there, the dealer in his bathroom stall office finally noticing me and shouting “Hey, who’s out there?”.  I walked quickly and confidently back out to the market, got Jodie, and went back to the hotel where we decided to stay for the rest of the night.  I didn’t particularly want these guys seeing me on the street and deciding maybe it was a bad idea to not rough me up.

So we stayed in, rented a movie “Forgetting Sarah Silverman” which we soon discovered was set in Hawaii, and took place at Turtle Bay Resort.  They filmed a major scene sitting in the very table where we ate dinner, and the entire movie used sites where we had just visited.  It was a fun movie, and even more fun because of the setting.  In one scene, the protagonist walks by a group getting married on the beach and says “A Hawaiian wedding, oh how original!”

We slept in a bit after the wedding, and got up in time to meet back at “the estate” to partake in an ice cream birthday celebration for Julie.  After a quick sundae, we headed out to take in some snorkeling up on the north shore.  Unfortunately, the weather had been a bit nasty in the last 24 hours, which by Hawaiian standards means windy and slightly more chance of rain in between the primarily sunny days.  This had churned up the water where we went snorkeling, near Turtle Bay resort.  While clearly it was a good spot with lots of fish to see, I had a hard time seeing through the stirred-up sandy water.  Jodie however saw quite a bit somehow.  I don’t have any pictures from this snorkeling trip, but it does give me an excuse to share some Turtle Bay pictures that I took earlier in the week when we visited for dinner.

We then packed up the gear and headed into the Polynesian Cultural Center to meet the gang for a Luau.  We lined up for dinner, and each got lei’ed on the way in.  The lauau was a bit more “cafeteria style” than we had hoped, but we had been pre-warned by Geoff and Sarah who had gone earlier in the week.   They went through some of the history of the luaua, and pulled a pig out of the sand pit, but the rest of it was basically a buffet with some people dancing on stage.  I did get a fix of some local food finally, including luau pork, poi, taro bread, and other items.

After dinner was the night show, which did a song and dance to cover each of the polynesian islands.  It was pretty well done, and got better near the end.  I was somewhat surprised to see New Zealand included in the same breath as Hawaii, as I see New Zealand as mostly an extension of Australia.  Goes to show that I’m not as worldly as I thought; perhaps a trip to Australia and NZ is in order.  A memorable part of the show was the crazy vigilance of the ushers to keep people from using flash photography.  I found the ushers far more annoying than the flashes, as every time someone’s flash accidentally went off they would all chase that person down with flashlights.  And they held up these annoying flashing signs that read “No Flash”.  Ironic.

The day began with a group breakfast, and then it was off to work for everyone.  For the most part, I hung around while the girls got dressed and got their hair done and ran out for the occasional errand.  One could say that I felt a bit out of place, and one would be correct.  As the wedding hour approached, I loaded up our car and took a group of people to the beach for the ceremony.

We arrived to the south-shore beach and discovered an ongoing military training exercise.  Offshore was a large naval ship launching hovercraft into the water.  The hovercraft exited the ship and sped towards the beach, eventually climbing up onto the beach and unloading its occupants.  Three helicopters patrolled in a circular formation above, and a naval frigate held watch nearby.  Oh yeah, and there was a wedding too.

The minister played a guitar-like instrument and sang Hawaiian songs on the beach.  Geoff waited out front while Sarah’s father walked her onto the beach and up to the altar.  After passing the bride from father to husband, the minister performed the ceremony and gave what I thought to be a very heartfelt and very entertaining sermon.  Sarah and Geoff then took two cups of sand, representing their separate lives, and combined them into one inseparable container.  There was kissing and much rejoicing.

We then retired back to “the estate” for a catered dinner and a relaxing night with the entire group.  Jordan manned the Tiki Bar, which became the focal point for much of the younger group.  At 11:30, a car came to whisk the new couple away to a hotel in Waikiki for the night.  At 11:31, everyone else succumbed to exhaustion and went to bed as well. 

Hold the phones, we actually slept in today.  Well, I woke up at around 10am anyways, but I think Jodie was up a bit earlier.  Jodie woke up feeling a bit rotten, either some virus or the jet lag is catching up with her.  We headed out to the meeting place for our scuba outing, and grabbed some lunch while waiting for the rest of the group to arrive.  After spending most of lunchtime in the bathroom throwing up, we decided that maybe scuba wasn’t the best activity for today.  Luckily, they allowed us to reschedule for later in the week so we’ll catch up with the scuba diving then.

Instead, we took a nice drive around the west and north sides of the islands, which are very different than the rest.  Lots of open, flat areas where they’ve planted pineapple and other local crops.  I attempted to get close to the Naval and Air Force bases to check out some of the equipment, but ended up driving to the front gate with no way out.  I apologized for getting lost and was escorted through a U-turn manoeuvre.  Oops!

While driving along the nothern beaches, we came across a coast guard helicopter hovering not too far off shore.  We stopped at the nearest parking area and got out to watch what appeared to be training exercises with the lifeguards on the beach and the coast guard.  They would jet-ski out a little bit and drop someone in the water, and then let the coast guard swoop in, drop out a beflippered rescuer, and then hoist them up via basket into the helicopter.  It was pretty interesting to watch, and I was impressed with how rock-steady the helicopter was in what I would consider moderately gusty wind.

We then drove by a series of shrimp farms, all with little shrimp trucks out front peddling their crop.  On someone’s recommendation (and tour books as well) we stopped in at Giovanni’s Shrimp Truck and ordered up some jumbo shrimp scampi.  I ate up the shrimp and Jodie tackled the rice (tummy still not feeling right), while a local cat went from table to table looking for handouts.  Now that’s one smart kitty!

Tomorrow is the wedding day, and Jodie needs to be on her game for that.  So for the rest of the day we’re just going to chill at our apartment.  Jodie is taking a nap in the bedroom, I’m catching up on the blogging, and in about ten minutes I think I’ll head out the back door with some snorkeling gear to see what’s in the water.  This is the view off of our patio.

Aloha until tomorrow!

In what is seeming to be a pattern, we woke up early again on Tuesday morning.  As one of the other people put it so eloquently “it’s hard to ignore the blazing sunshine and ten degree rise in heat”.  Today was our surfing day, and I was really looking forward to it.  To be honest, I didn’t expect much after my initial efforts with Geoff and JJ at Waikiki.

The directions took us to a secluded beach, winding down the edge of a military base, through a forest, and finally appearing on a stunning piece of ocean.  It was just us there, a class of thirteen people ranging from teens to one woman in her fifties.  After a short tutorial on the beach, we grabbed our surf boards and headed into the water.  The instructors line up at the point where the waves are breaking and wait for the students to paddle out to meet them.  We had about one instructor per two people, which worked out perfectly because while one person was surfing, the other would be paddling back out.  When you got to the instructor, they would hold your board and pick out a wave for you.  When the right wave comes along they yell “paddle, paddle, paddle”, at which point you, well, start to paddle like mad.  For the first few waves they give you a push to start, but let you start on your own later into the lesson. 

My first few attempts were a bust.  The salt water and sunscreen was running into my eyes and blinding me, which was annoying but not the reason why I was doing so badly.  No, my problem was getting up and doing the initial “pushup” move to lift your trunk and slide your feet up under you.  Inevitably, my hand would slip off the rails, releasing my full body weight to be carried into a faceplant in the middle of the board.  Do that a few times and you tend to get somewhat discouraged (and your face starts to hurt too).  At one point early in the lesson, I bumped into Jodie while paddling back and asked her how she was doing.  “Gotten up every time” she said, trying not to hurt my feelings.  Mmmhmmm…

The instructor had been watching my faceplants, and gave me some simple but incredibly effective tips that allowed me to get up every single time after about the first half hour.  We were in the water for about ninety minutes, and by the end I was feeling really comfortable on the surfboard.  I even rode two waves right up onto the beach and walked off the board onto dry sand. 

They had a photographer with a very long lens on the beach, who captured some good shots.  They’re not up yet, but if you watch their page (click here) you may see some shots of the two of us.  We were July 15 Class T2.  I’ve been raving about the lessons to everyone I’ve talked to, best activity so far on the island.  We had a blast!

We headed home and cleaned up before heading back to “the estate” for the stag and stagette.  The girls had a bridal shower in the guest house, and then headed out in an SUV limo for a night on the town.  The guys opted, at Geoff’s request, to have a quiet night in with some BBQ, foosball, pool, ping-pong, and poker.

I must be getting more accustomed to the time zone, I stayed up until 1am!

We woke up early again on Monday morning and set out in search of coffee.  So far we’d tried the McDonalds coffee and decided it was too weak to go back to, and instead gave 7-11 a whirl.  Struck out again, but it’s a long drive to the nearest Tim Horton’s (and we might get a little wet on the way).  Along the drive, we came across one of the most intoxicating rainbows we’ve ever seen.  It’s hard to describe in text and even the pictures don’t do it justice, but I’ll try.  Until now, every rainbow I’ve seen has existed “at the horizon”.  However this rainbow existed “about 1000 feet in front of us”.  You could follow the very strong outline of the rainbow directly to the ground nearby, and clearly see the trees and mountains behind it.  I know it’s all just a big optical illusion, but I swear I felt like we could walk into the forest a few minutes and find the end of the rainbow, perhaps a pot of leprechaun gold.  It was quite a sight.

Today was the snorkeling day, and after carpooling via the estate again we headed out for Hanauma Bay.  After about a thirty minute drive around the south-eastern shore of the island we arrived to find the park full and with no further admission for the day.  Nuts.

We regrouped and headed for another beach where the lot of us just hung out for the morning.  Someone went on a pizza run, which we ate on the beach before parting ways.  Jodie and I decided we were going to try to find some decent snorkeling and headed for a drive down the coast to a spot that was recommended.  We headed out into the ocean, but I think we must have not found the right spot.  There wasn’t much to see, other than a small sea turtle that we followed for a good twenty minutes.  He didn’t seem to care that we were stalking him, and in fact came right up to see us at one point.  I’m still unsure if sea turtles are the “touch me and I’ll bite your face off” kind of creatures so I kept my hands to myself.  He was literally about 6 inches from me though, so I was tempted.

We packed up our gear and took care of a few errands (Jodie was prepping for the Stagette which was happening the following night).  Then it was back to “the estate” for a swim in the pool and dinner.  The second night at the estate left us feeling somewhat like leeches, so we brought some dessert and drinks to accompany the pasta dinner.  Sarah’s dad Ivan and I are both plane geeks, so we thoroughly enjoyed sitting on the patio and watching the planes and helicopters coming in and out of the nearby Marine base.  The evening ended with a magnificent sunset over the mountains.

We headed back to the North Shore shortly after 9pm, and I’m so proud of myself for staying up all the way to 10pm!

Wow, I’m getting behind in my documentation.  I’d better capture day two before it is merely a memory.

We woke up early again, and headed into Kaneohe to meet up with the rest of the wedding party for a morning of hiking.  We carpooled up, and then headed off to Diamond Head, an inactive volcano crater on the southern tip of the island.  We arrived to find the parking lot full, so we turned back and parked at a scenic overlook down the road and walked in.  The hike was gruelling, winding our way up the hill as the sun beat down on us.  Near the top, it got steep enough that they had built stairs into the side of the hill (hundreds of stairs).  We made lots of stops and drank plenty of water to replenish what the environment was stealing from our bodies.  The view at the top was spectacular, overlooking Waikiki on on side and looking over the ocean at the next island over (Molokai).

The hike down was considerably easier, but still exhausting.  When we arrived at the bottom, several of us took advantage of a conveniently-placed shaved ice truck to cool off.

Interestingly, I was fine through the entire hike but after stopping to get some ice my heart went into some pretty funky rhythms.  Jodie verified that my pulse was all over the map, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, and sometimes with no discernable pattern. This lasted for three hours, then went back to normal.  Something to mention to the doctor when I get back.

After hiking, we retired to “the estate” which is where Geoff, Sarah and family are staying for the week.  This place is impressive, the kind of palace that a mid-grade rock star might have built in the early seventies.  You arrive by driving about 45 degrees straight up into the hills.  The first stop along the driveway is the guest house.  The second stop is the main residence, with a four car garage that has been converted into a games room and a sprawling two-story mansion fronted with brown-tinted glass overlooking the ocean.  Up one more stop on the driveway is tennis court and basketball court.  We spent the remainder of the day hanging out by the pool and playing trivial pursuit before heading back to the north shore for another very deep sleep.

My cleverly crafted plan to reset my internal clock failed miserably.  My restlessness was assisted by the room that took a few hours to cool down and the strobe-like flashing of the smoke detector at the Hilton Prince Kuhio.  At 5am, Jodie and I finally realized that we were both pretending to be asleep for the other person’s benefit and woke up.

We went for a walk down Waikiki beach, and strolled past the still-closed shops along the main road.  Grabbed some breakfast, and then met Geoff and Sarah for a day at the beach.  Geoff and his brother JJ rented surf boards, and I tagged along with a boogie board.  Unfortunately I didn’t catch any waves, but I did discover several muscles that I had never been aware of before (due to them being in pain of course).

We then headed off to the north shore to check in to our vacation rental.  The drive up to Punalu’u was beautiful.  In the center of the island is a range of mountains, and while the coast is always sunny the mountains are by contrast always cloudy.  It’s pretty much a case study in meteorology, all contained within a biosphere that takes about thirty minutes to cross by car.  The drive took us up the mountains and ultimately through a tunnel which emerged on the windward side, revealing the much more lush environment that these clouds can deliver. 

The owner of the rental, Tish, showed us around and gave us a very animated overview of the area including good places to eat and a style of giving directions that involved shuffling around the apartment on imaginary roads.  It was very entertaining.  We ended the day with dinner at Haleiwa Joe’s, where we enjoyed seafood in an open-air restaurant that overlooks a sunken garden in the jungle.  It was a beautiful way to end the day.

And then of course sleep, which would prove to be much better here than it was the night before.