There is this big pile of junk along the side of our house, full of stuff that didn’t get disposed of last summer.  Branches that I trimmed, bushes that I yanked, shingles that our alcoholic contractors failed to dispose of, and other miscellaneous stuff.  It’s pretty well hidden, behind the fence so you can’t see it from the front yard and along the side of the house so you can’t see it from the back yard.  However, we just set up a new swing set in the side yard and now that pile is really starting to get on my nerves.

We considered getting a junk removal company to haul it away last year, but they wanted over $300 to take it away.  I considered asking one of my neighbours if I could borrow their trailer, but told myself that before I start to mooch off of the new neighbours I had to invite them over for a BBQ.  So there the pile sat throughout the fall, winter, and now into the spring.

Having had enough of the eyesore, I decided that today was going to be the day to man up and get rid of it.  I had pre-arranged my neighbour’s utility trailer and was ready to get to work.  Unfortunately, today was also about the worst weather of the spring so far but I wasn’t going to let that be another excuse to not do the work.  So I put on the most waterproof clothing that I own, and went to town on the pile.  The first load was all brush, and I jammed as many branches into the trailer as would legally fit.  With the load tied down, I headed out to the dump.  Jodie, taking note of the mud that had become caked to every part of my body, kindly requested that I hose myself off and put down a blanket before getting into her new truck.  I complied.

Load two was somewhat more challenging, filled with shingles, concrete from the old fence posts, and more bush.  I headed back out to the dump.  The rain picked up to what can officially be termed “torrential” and I realized shortly after weigh-in that I had forgotten my work gloves at home.  I picked through the staple-laden shingles and thorny brush carefully with my bare, raw, and somewhat numb fingers as the last layer of my clothing gave in to the onslaught of moisture from above.  Miserable and exhausted, I was not amused when the dump mistress approached me with a friendly “going’ kinda slow there aren’t ya buddy?”  Lovely, just what I needed.  “It’s 4:30 y’know, I’d like to get outta here”, she continued. 

I finished up in my own good time, and then headed home.  The person manning the scales on the way out took pity on me, and grabbed some paper towels for me from her office.  It may have been pity, or it may have been because I was dripping on her Mastercard machine.  Either way, I was happy to receive them.

I’ll wait until tomorrow’s forecast sunshine to wipe down the inside of Jodie’s truck (the blanket didn’t save the interior), to sweep out my driveway, and get the trailer back into my neighbour’s garage.

I have to admit, while it makes for a fun story I wasn’t actually that miserable.  I wanted to get the work done, I knew I was going to get completely soaked before I even started, and I’m left with a strong sense of accomplishment having stroked a significant lingering task off of my to-do list.  Still, I’m spending the rest of the night in my recliner doing nothing but watching TV.  I’m spent.