I’m sure that you’re not particularly thrilled about the thunderstorms you’re getting tonight. While not actually claiming any sort of godlike powers, I feel that as an ethical person who takes responsibility for his actions I should apologize for bringing about this weather.
You see, there is a meeting this week at our office in Lincolnshire. I, along with several colleagues, am flying there to partake in these discussions which I assure you will be to great benefit of everyone involved. Generally, the simple act of flying to a destination is not enough to cause such a significant change in atmospheric conditions. I made the mistake this time of actually planning to meet people for dinner when I arrived tonight, and that additional selfish act can only be assumed to have caused the storm clouds to begin their formation over o’hare. My travel karma seems to degrade exponentially with the scope of planned activity at the destination.
So, to the citizens of chicago and to my colleagues stranded in airports across north america, I apologize.
This apology will be best received in person upon my arrival into your great city later tonight (or potentially tomorrow or wednesday depending on my flight status).